Ever notice how dirty the denny's menu is....
Think about it: The Meat Lover's scramble, The Lumberjack scramble...If you think about it, Moons Over My Hammy sounds dirty. Why are so many Denny's menus so goddamn dirty. Are they trying to get us to buy that crappy food. They say the food is as good as it looks....they aren't lying. Perhaps they want us to begin using denny's items as euphemisms.
Ever notice all the wierd names out there...
A guy by the name of Variable....that's his name...Variable...Decided he wanted to change his name to Fuck Censorship, but the courts denied his name change. Personally, i think that Fuck Censorship is a great name, if you're sombody fighting for freedom of speech. It's also great if you happen to be playing baseball when Abbot and Costello are around. Who's on first? Fuck.
It's also great if you like being insulted. "hey, you fuck". If you think that's a good name, you should see the one he had before Variable. Snaphappy Fishsuit Mokiligon.
Notice the high gas prices.....
Apparently the Amish are beginning to feel the sting of high gas prices.....no punchline needed.
I regret to inform the fan(s) that i'm packing up the clog, and leaving. However, I will open up a new blog on a different site.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Monday, May 12, 2008
The Clog: The rants and moans of your 21st century weirdo
I have a love of retro stuff. I love listening to old albums (though i don't have a turntable) , dressing in plaid (cause it never goes out of style), heck, i even own a Bowler (for your modern day 18th century man).
A while ago i found my old N64 and was surprised to see it still worked. Nobody could get me off the couch for 3 weeks after that....VIVA MARIO KART...and the various other games I have.
It's not that i don't like all this new high tech witchcraft....i just kinda like old systems. I still play my Xbox 360 and PS2, so there's no reason to worry about me.
Earlier today i found the old SNES....You can imagine how amazed i was to find the system that I practically grew up with. There were only 2 problems
1/ It has the old 1 pin hookup...you know, the one that goes into the cable hookup.
This shouldn't be too much of a problem because i can pick up an adaptor almost anywhere.
2/ My fan(s) of an older era may remember that the Super Nintendo used a 10V adaptor. This may be a problem, unless i can find a 10V adaptor lying around the place. If i can, that would be sweet, as I have an itchin' to play Earthworm Jim 2 and Zombies Ate My Neighbors. Super Mario World can kiss my Non-Existant ass(don't ask)
So, that's my minor annoyance of the day.
Other things:
Remember that movie 'The Avengers'...you know...the one where Sean Connery can control the weather...Well, a friend told me of the movie earlier today and wondered what the world would be like if Sean Connery could actually control the weather.
Here's how i think the news report would go:
Reporter: We received information that Sean Connery can control the weather, and we are currently on the scene. Mr.Connery, do you have any demands for the people of the planet?
SC: Yesh, I do. I want the worlds shupply of scotch and ice. Alsho, i want any bond girl you can find. Deliver theshe to me and i will shpare your livesh. (of course, the Sean Connery impression doesn't go over so well when it's typed)
Random video i like of the day
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4WUlNSx_Wk
That's all there is to it, folks.
You read it, you can't un-read it.
A while ago i found my old N64 and was surprised to see it still worked. Nobody could get me off the couch for 3 weeks after that....VIVA MARIO KART...and the various other games I have.
It's not that i don't like all this new high tech witchcraft....i just kinda like old systems. I still play my Xbox 360 and PS2, so there's no reason to worry about me.
Earlier today i found the old SNES....You can imagine how amazed i was to find the system that I practically grew up with. There were only 2 problems
1/ It has the old 1 pin hookup...you know, the one that goes into the cable hookup.
This shouldn't be too much of a problem because i can pick up an adaptor almost anywhere.
2/ My fan(s) of an older era may remember that the Super Nintendo used a 10V adaptor. This may be a problem, unless i can find a 10V adaptor lying around the place. If i can, that would be sweet, as I have an itchin' to play Earthworm Jim 2 and Zombies Ate My Neighbors. Super Mario World can kiss my Non-Existant ass(don't ask)
So, that's my minor annoyance of the day.
Other things:
Remember that movie 'The Avengers'...you know...the one where Sean Connery can control the weather...Well, a friend told me of the movie earlier today and wondered what the world would be like if Sean Connery could actually control the weather.
Here's how i think the news report would go:
Reporter: We received information that Sean Connery can control the weather, and we are currently on the scene. Mr.Connery, do you have any demands for the people of the planet?
SC: Yesh, I do. I want the worlds shupply of scotch and ice. Alsho, i want any bond girl you can find. Deliver theshe to me and i will shpare your livesh. (of course, the Sean Connery impression doesn't go over so well when it's typed)
Random video i like of the day
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4WUlNSx_Wk
That's all there is to it, folks.
You read it, you can't un-read it.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
The Clog: GO HABS!
I'm a Montreal fan, so you'd think i'd be absolutely devastated by the 3-1 series against Pittsburgh yesterday...well i'm not.
They still have a few games left. If they can pick it up for saturday's game, then all will be right, but if they don't they're screwed.
Let's hope they play Carey Price this time
Dont't make me get rid of my playoff beard
GO HABS
They still have a few games left. If they can pick it up for saturday's game, then all will be right, but if they don't they're screwed.
Let's hope they play Carey Price this time
Dont't make me get rid of my playoff beard
GO HABS
Friday, April 18, 2008
The Clog: Hiatus
Monday, March 31, 2008
The Clog: A break in the writer's block (IT'S A RANT)
Ok, it's been a while since my last post, but what are you going to do. Writer's block set in, and it stayed for a while. But now i have somthing really good planned for all three of you who read my blog.
IT'S A RANT!
where to start...oh yes, the coffee.
To those who know me at all, I hate to wake up naturally, so i love coffee. Being Canadian, i love a double-double. Today, however, I was duped into going to somewhere other than Tim Horton's. So i got a coffee, put in my cream and sugar, and left. Apparently, without my knowing, the place left their cream out for a little longer than the best before date. So, i took the first sip of my coffee, only to find a chunk of CHEESE! there were 20 or so bits of FUCKING CHEESE in my coffee. I wanted coffee, not poutine! i would have ordered poutine if i wanted it.
anyway, i also have a rant on Earth Hour on saturday:
This was a MASSIVE waste of time. If you live in Canada, between 8:00 and 9:00 (earth hour) on a saturday is normally a HOCKEY GAME, and nobody wants to turn off the tv in the middle of it. And to all of you people who are championing the environment: SCREW YOU ASSHOLES! Here's a fact: People who are making lots and lots of money from fossil fuels want to keep making lots and lots of money from fossil fuels. They're not going to say 'hey, enough of this oil thing...LET'S GROW CORN!'. Oh, here's another thing: HYBRIDS ARE A JOKE!. Let's say you live in a city like Toronto. The only gas station that also dispences ethanol is in Guelph. And by the time you go out to Guelph to get the gas/ethanol and come halfway back, you're going to need gas again. and the cycle repeats. So basically, you'd have to return to Guelph 12 times to get home, and guelph is living hell!
oh, and to the asshole who idled his car for an hour on the street, SCREW YOU TOO. I don't want to be biased towards the tree-huggers or the Oil maniacs.
Fence-sitters rule
IT'S A RANT!
where to start...oh yes, the coffee.
To those who know me at all, I hate to wake up naturally, so i love coffee. Being Canadian, i love a double-double. Today, however, I was duped into going to somewhere other than Tim Horton's. So i got a coffee, put in my cream and sugar, and left. Apparently, without my knowing, the place left their cream out for a little longer than the best before date. So, i took the first sip of my coffee, only to find a chunk of CHEESE! there were 20 or so bits of FUCKING CHEESE in my coffee. I wanted coffee, not poutine! i would have ordered poutine if i wanted it.
anyway, i also have a rant on Earth Hour on saturday:
This was a MASSIVE waste of time. If you live in Canada, between 8:00 and 9:00 (earth hour) on a saturday is normally a HOCKEY GAME, and nobody wants to turn off the tv in the middle of it. And to all of you people who are championing the environment: SCREW YOU ASSHOLES! Here's a fact: People who are making lots and lots of money from fossil fuels want to keep making lots and lots of money from fossil fuels. They're not going to say 'hey, enough of this oil thing...LET'S GROW CORN!'. Oh, here's another thing: HYBRIDS ARE A JOKE!. Let's say you live in a city like Toronto. The only gas station that also dispences ethanol is in Guelph. And by the time you go out to Guelph to get the gas/ethanol and come halfway back, you're going to need gas again. and the cycle repeats. So basically, you'd have to return to Guelph 12 times to get home, and guelph is living hell!
oh, and to the asshole who idled his car for an hour on the street, SCREW YOU TOO. I don't want to be biased towards the tree-huggers or the Oil maniacs.
Fence-sitters rule
Sunday, February 24, 2008
The Clog: sorry
I am sorry for the long wait between clogs. There's been a format change over on the other site. It's kinda hard keeping two blogs running simultaniously, but what are you going to do. My new thing is posting some of my comedy on a blog. The problem with this is writer's block, which i currently have now. I can make up stuff off the cuff, but that's only if i have someone set me up, and that doesn't work for a blog.
Sorry for the wait, but my fan(s) will have to wait longer for the next clog, as my writer's block is keeping me from writing anything good. The closest thing to funny i've had in a while is a bit about Pepsi V.S. Coke, and that wasn't that great.
As soon as it lets up, i will come back.
Perhaps i should get some monkeys to write my material. Are the monkeys still on strike?
Sorry for the wait, but my fan(s) will have to wait longer for the next clog, as my writer's block is keeping me from writing anything good. The closest thing to funny i've had in a while is a bit about Pepsi V.S. Coke, and that wasn't that great.
As soon as it lets up, i will come back.
Perhaps i should get some monkeys to write my material. Are the monkeys still on strike?
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
The Clog: Another DUI
Well, It's my first real Clog for Blogspot
Let's kick this pig! (i guess PeTA won't be too happy about that)
A guy in Adrian, Michigan was charged with DUI after drinking 2 bottles of wine, cutting through a snowstorm on his lawnmower, and driving down the center of the street to reach the liquor store. You cannot make this stuff up.
Iraq has a new national flag. Again. And once again, everyone hates it. Check it out and tell me what you think.
Scientists hope the cure for criminal behavior in youths is more fish oil in their diet. This oughta work well.
A New York state employee was arrested for stealing historical documents and putting them up for sale on Ebay. The person was quoted as saying "I got the idea after seeing what Bush has done with the constitution".
A German airline is one-upping Hooters Airlines by introducing totally nude flights. You'll still be stuck sitting next to a sweaty 300 pounder, though.
A man in Charleston was arrested for stealing from parking meters. He would have gotten away with it if his drill wasn't plugged into the Capitol Police guardhouse.
This just in: The Romero Institute reports that some people leave REALLY long voicemails
Not news: Eight people started a brawl in Flint, Michigan. News: At a Chuck E Chees. Beholed the power of cheese...and pepper spray.
No need to watch the Super Bowl -- according to the Boston Globe, the Pats have already won
Angry 10-year old? Check. Attempt to poison his family? Check. Locked in a crap-filled dog crate by grandma? Wait a sec, who the hell wrote this checklist?
The Bush administration has dropped a program to distribute anti-radiation pills to citizens who live near nuclear reactors citing their ineffectiveness during "The Pepsi Syndrome" of the late 70's
Thanks to recent record foreclosure rates, it is now possible to buy a house for less than the price of a big-screen TV. Sure, it's in Cleveland, but still
Rudy Giuliani has dropped his bd for the 2008 presidency and is now endorsing John McCain. When asked for a comment, the former NYC mayor replied: "9/11"
That's all the good stuff from yesterday. Read again tommorrow, when i'll add a bonus bit that you won't find on the Myspace version and i'll add a bonus bit on myspace that you won't find here.
Let's kick this pig! (i guess PeTA won't be too happy about that)
A guy in Adrian, Michigan was charged with DUI after drinking 2 bottles of wine, cutting through a snowstorm on his lawnmower, and driving down the center of the street to reach the liquor store. You cannot make this stuff up.
Iraq has a new national flag. Again. And once again, everyone hates it. Check it out and tell me what you think.
Scientists hope the cure for criminal behavior in youths is more fish oil in their diet. This oughta work well.
A New York state employee was arrested for stealing historical documents and putting them up for sale on Ebay. The person was quoted as saying "I got the idea after seeing what Bush has done with the constitution".
A German airline is one-upping Hooters Airlines by introducing totally nude flights. You'll still be stuck sitting next to a sweaty 300 pounder, though.
A man in Charleston was arrested for stealing from parking meters. He would have gotten away with it if his drill wasn't plugged into the Capitol Police guardhouse.
This just in: The Romero Institute reports that some people leave REALLY long voicemails
Not news: Eight people started a brawl in Flint, Michigan. News: At a Chuck E Chees. Beholed the power of cheese...and pepper spray.
No need to watch the Super Bowl -- according to the Boston Globe, the Pats have already won
Angry 10-year old? Check. Attempt to poison his family? Check. Locked in a crap-filled dog crate by grandma? Wait a sec, who the hell wrote this checklist?
The Bush administration has dropped a program to distribute anti-radiation pills to citizens who live near nuclear reactors citing their ineffectiveness during "The Pepsi Syndrome" of the late 70's
Thanks to recent record foreclosure rates, it is now possible to buy a house for less than the price of a big-screen TV. Sure, it's in Cleveland, but still
Rudy Giuliani has dropped his bd for the 2008 presidency and is now endorsing John McCain. When asked for a comment, the former NYC mayor replied: "9/11"
That's all the good stuff from yesterday. Read again tommorrow, when i'll add a bonus bit that you won't find on the Myspace version and i'll add a bonus bit on myspace that you won't find here.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
The Clog: HELLO, WORLD!
Hello, I'm Stretch, and this is The Clog. Actually, this isn't my first time posting The Clog on the internet. The clog started out as a tiny little blog (about one paragraph) every day. Normally on some trivial subject. Over time it grew and grew, untill i took it down, and replaced it with my daily rants. I did a bunch of those. After a while they became quite popular. One of them actually got 50 hits in one day. Pretty good for some loser's blog. After a while of looking for new sources for my topics, i found a differant site than the regular one, and now I run the clog 5 days a week and, occasionally, a rant about what pissed me off that particular day. Or however it turns out. So, that's the history of The Clog so far. Have fun reading further editions of my blog.
Clogging the tubes of the internet since 2006
-Stretch D
Clogging the tubes of the internet since 2006
-Stretch D
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